The Night Of The Iguana

“I trust all is well on the other side of the North Sea,” Arjen messages. “It’s not too bad,” I reply. “Just recuperating from another operation. Feel sad about lack of invite to the Galapagos though.” “It was a family trip ten years in the making. Cost my brother and me an arm and a […]

Queen’s Gambit

“You like Magnus Carlsen, nice!” The Tinder message flashes across my screen. It’s from a new Bright Young Thing, age 31, so not even very young. He’s got brown hair and blue eyes. Good cheekbones. “I do,” I reply. “The red dress in your picture is very nice. Do you play chess?” He says. Ah. […]

Our Day Out

“You know, we’ve been coming here for nearly thirty years,” Mum says. We’re at a pizza restaurant round the corner from the museums, sitting outside in December because it’s not too cold as long as we keep our coats on. It’s our Family Day Out: all four of us. “When I used to bring you […]

Return To Flight

“We should be at your parental home,” the panther says, pressing a heavy paw down on my chest. “You’re not in any state to fend for yourself in the wild.” Rubbing my eyes, I sit up in bed and look over at my watch. 4.55pm. Time to get up from my afternoon sleep. “I’m fine,” […]

Last Drain To Clarksville

Let’s liven things up with a list: 1. Drain is still in. It hurts where the tube issues from my right side. Hopefully this is a good sign that healing is taking place as it doesn’t look infected. 2. Plastic surgery nurse will have a look later today anyway and will either remove drain or […]

Runaway Drain

“Come on darling. You know you’re not allowed in there,” Mum says. The fluffy monster has climbed inside the freezer and is curled up on a shelf, gazing out at us. Mum takes some felafel out and waits for the cat to step out. He doesn’t. Eventually he puts one front paw down on the […]

Blackbird

“So, Tanya, how has your mood been?” Dr Stein my psychiatrist says – pen poised over my notes. “Well, actually I think it’s lifted a bit,” I say. “You certainly seem a bit brighter,” he says. He’s wearing a cashmere sweater – the same bright blue as his eyes. “Maybe the tramadol is lifting my […]