Separate Tables

No word from the Captain. Spent a bit of time on Tinder making some new matches and nothing from any of them either. It’s not all doom and gloom though: the Central Willy Database is recovered! Found the bit of Facebook called Synced Photos and there are all my willies! Also, there are all my […]

Dial M For Murder

I’m writing this on my New Phone. It is gold. Sadly it’s not gold all over, just on the back and around the edges and not a very bright gold anyway. Never mind: it’s here and I’m back on Tinder. Tragically I’ve lost all my Stuff: all my contacts, over 2000 baby photos of the […]


This morning, waking up in my own bed in the parental home, everything seems much better. There is an orange fluffy cheek rubbing against mine – my kitten has come to wake me up. “Good morning furry monster,” I say, stroking his soft head. “Meow,” he says, arching his back, his tail a question mark […]


Surfacing from the depths, I’m jolted into awareness.  There’s a mask on my face and I can’t breathe.  There are bright lights and voices and everything hurts.  Gasping and crying I thrash around. “Keep still,” a voice says.  “You’re in recovery.” Crying, I look down at my front, feel my chest and there’s a cavity […]

I Like It Here

I’m meeting Arjen at 6pm. It’s 5.55pm now. The bus streaks past me and comes to a standstill as the lights turn red. Now’s my chance, I think, picking up speed, running after it and then…argh. There’s the sound of wrenching and tearing as the front strap of my sandal breaks. Ah, this is why […]

Double Fault

If I don’t write this Right Now, I won’t manage a blog today, which would be terrible. Achieved Spin today for the first time in a while. It was good, but couldn’t push self very much as the-Cold-of-Doom is still very much in evidence. This impedes cycling fast, breathing, standing up in the saddle, pushing […]

The Horror, The Horror

The Captain messages, finally, at about 3pm yesterday. “I do really want to see you but I can’t make it tonight.” “OK. That’s not the end of the world,” I reply. “I don’t have much time before the operation though.” He doesn’t suggest another date. I’ve told him I’m just having a small procedure: he […]

Unfinished Symphonies: Voices From The Beyond

No word from the Captain about our date tonight which is just rude. On the plus side, the Swedish RockStarBanker is on his way, if running 15 minutes late. Am, of course, early. So far there have been a series of minor inconveniences disrupting the day. The bus was diverted so had to catch it […]

4.50 From Paddington

“I was emotionally devastated reading your article and found myself welling up and close to tears at 38000 feet,” the Tinder message comes through. It’s from one of my matches – a pilot. Haven’t met him. This is exciting though: the first Tinder chap to have read my article and messaged about it. “I’m sorry: […]

Death In Holy Orders?

“Hello beautiful xxx I’ll look forward to seeing you soon I hope xxx” the Captain’s What’s App message comes through at 10.22pm. So, the Captain either doesn’t read that newspaper or doesn’t read the section full of my mad, fat, cancerous dating self or doesn’t mind. Which is nice. “Yay! Thursday!” I reply, in case […]