Hide And Seek*

“Where’s my fluffy?” Mum asks Dad.  Have been out with Mum and Dad has been at the parental home, in charge of the fluffy monster. “He’s inside,” Dad says.  “He came in and I closed the flap, so he must be in the house somewhere.” Dad is wearing his bright purple sweater.  Mum purchased it […]


Turtle Baby*

Happy Bipolar Awareness Day everyone! Am aware of my mental disorder everyday, of course.  So are my parentals and my brother.  There’s never a day that isn’t dominated by my mood – even after sixteen years of illness, treatment, coping strategies and so on. When my mood is up – which is around 60% of […]


The Silence Of The Rain*

Seb has left, taking the sunshine with him. Now the sky is grey, with heavy rain. At the bus stop this morning, all the other girls were wearing tights and boots already. Am resisting winter clothes for as long as possible. Due to the hot flushes, I break out in sweat often. So, even as […]


Tears Of The Giraffe*

“I had such a lovely time,” I say to Seb. We’re sitting in his car outside my gym at 11.50am this morning. “Me too, my lovely,” he says, kissing my shoulder. “It’s been so nice just spending time together.” “I hate this bit,” I say: not wanting to say goodbye, not wanting to get out […]


Death Of A Glutton*

Seb is washing up and tidying the kitchen. Can hear running water and the sound of cutlery clattering as he puts it away. Have escaped to my bedroom for a few minutes to write this. We’ve just returned from the cinema – the Michael Fassbender “Macbeth”. Excellent. Bloody, grimy and beautifully shot. Lots of mountains […]


The Pelican Brief*

“What are you going to do today darling?” Mum says as we turn off the motorway towards my flat this morning. “Go to the gym, have lunch, have a sleep,” I say.  Didn’t sleep well last night and the chest MRI was horrible and my arm hurts where the cannula has just been removed.  Seb […]


The Burglar Who Counted The Spoons*

“Boxing was exhausting,” Seb says when he calls last night. “Those teenagers have so much energy and I’d eaten too much spaghetti before I set off and…” “So what weight division will you be in?” I say. “I suppose I’ll get leaner so I can be middleweight or…well – I don’t want to bulk up […]


A Nasty Piece Of Work*

Waking up with a start from my afternoon sleep, I realise that it’s 5.19pm. Squeezing myself out from under the panther who’s sprawled across the bed, I sit up. Argh. It’s home-and-self-care-day today, which means: 1. Put away last week’s washing that is still on the airer. 2. Hang up washing in the machine. 3. […]


Hickory Dickory Dock*

“I’m exhausted from the gym, my lovely,” Seb says when he calls at 8.30pm last night. “What did you do there,” I say, sipping my hot chocolate.  Apart from turning up at a time when it’s open at last, so well done for that. “Well, I started at my toes and worked up,” Seb says.  […]


The Documents In The Case*

“I’m calling you from outside the gym,” Seb says, when he calls at 8.30pm last night. “Ah, well done for going,” I say.  “What’s all that noise in the background?” “Well, I haven’t actually been in,” he says.  “Have just arrived here and it’s closed.  So I’m walking home and it’s windy.” “That’s a shame,” […]