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Echo Park*

Sitting in the park, in the sun, I smear sun cream all over my arms and chest.  The panther lies under the shade of a palm tree.  The alcoholics sit on their benches and don’t bother me.  And suddenly I feel a surge of happiness: despite my low mood, despite Seb being away, despite how […]

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Blood Jungle Ballet*

“Face it, he’s not coming back,” the panther says as he sits on my windowsill, watching a squirrel on the bird feeder. “He is,” I say.  “In a couple of weeks Seb will be back.” “And, even if he comes back for a bit, then he’s going to university.  For three whole years,” the panther […]

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Night Of The Jaguar*

Back at the flat and am going to write this now, before my afternoon sleep, as when wake up will need to: 1.  Unload dishwasher. 2.  Put washing away. 3.  Make supper: probably The Omelette. 4.  Prepare self for the Office tomorrow. The panther lies sprawled across my bed, taking up most of it.  Am […]

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Cicada*

“Hope all’s going well my sweet?” Seb’s message comes through at 5.15pm.  “Very nice here.  The soft sound of the crickets has replaced the intense cicadas and it’s a lovely peaceful night.   Lots of love xxx.” Have just been crying about how miserable I am, but must pull self together to compose a cheerful […]

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War And Peas*

“I’ve got a job for you,” Mum says. “What is it?” I say. “It’s your favourite job,” Mum says, in that excited tone of voice that she uses when she thinks she’s going to be able to persuade me to do something.  The tone of voice that means this is a fun thing I’ve invented […]

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Poodle Springs*

“So, how are you?” The lovely young doctor says, pen poised over my notes.  He’s the same one who I saw last month: tall with blue eyes and brown hair. “Well my mood has dropped,” I say, “so I’ve put my antidepressant dose up.  So I need some more of those, if that’s OK please? […]

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The Jungle Book*

The flat phone rings.  Picking it up, I say “Hello.” “Hello my lovely,” Seb says. I can’t believe that it’s him.  “Are you calling me from the jungle?” I say. “Yes, I might run out of credit but I wanted to call you and say hello,” he says.  The line crackles, it’s not a good […]

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A Meditation On Murder*

“Hello lovely, all well?”  Seb’s message comes through at 6.30pm last night.  “Very good here.  Despite all my self abuse, meditation’s going pretty well.  You keep popping into my mind during meditation.  Sending loving thoughts xxx” “Sending loving thoughts back,” I fire off, just in case he can read it straight away.  “You are in […]

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The Clouded Leopard*

Sitting in the park on my lunch break.  So far, the alcoholics are avoiding me and have arranged themselves on the benches around the park’s edges, where they argue and swig from their cans.  It is unseasonably cold but have removed my fleece so can sit on it – a fleece!  In July!   If am […]

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The Go-Between*

“Hello lovely!”  Seb’s message comes through at 7.35am this morning.  “Happily ensconced in the forest.  You won’t believe how fast the Bodhi trees I planted (less than two years ago) have grown.  One was a cutting of about 6 inches tall which is now 8 foot!!  Hope you’re well my lovely xxx” Ah he’s adorable. […]