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A Royal Pain*

“No, dear, you have to give the stag four of the biscuits for his lunch,” Prince Philip says.  “Look: dig up a few more.”  He pushes his trowel into the ground and unearths a couple more of the biscuits which appear to be a cross between rice cakes and weetabix.  They are orange and flat […]

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Gallipoli*

“Are you about to go to sleep my lovely?”  Seb’s message comes through at about nine o’clock last night.  “Just sitting down to supper with parentals.  Can I call in about 30 – 40 minutes?” “Yes, of course,” I say, chuckling.  Am turning him into me: he has never used the word ‘parentals’ before, as […]

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Genius In Murder*

Woohoo!  Have been nominated for this award by the wonderful Tara at ‘After The Rain’.  Thank you so much Tara. So, I have to say 7 things about my self. 1.  Always wanted to be a zookeeper when I grew up.  Worked at my zoo as a volunteer in various departments: Children’s Zoo, Small Mammal […]

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April Showers*

April A to Z Asparagus, artichokes, avocado.  So many lovely spring vegetables.  Apple blossom. Broccoli – purple sprouting.  Birds. Cuddles with the fluffy monster, as he sheds orange fluff everywhere.  He is losing his winter coat.  Ceanothus flowering everywhere.  Photo attached.  Cherry blossom. Death of winter, let us hope. Excitement about summer. Fat.  Must do […]

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Downward-Facing Death*

Can do some stuff to stop mood getting any more elevated: 1.  Keep away from the Internet – hence why am only just writing this now.  Technology is not my friend at the moment, sadly.  Can’t work things.  2.  Rest. 3.  Keep away from shops, restaurants and public transport.  Am cancelling all my plans up […]

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The Day Of The Jackal*

“Your bedroom ceiling just fell down,” Mum says in a tone of great excitement.  “There was a crash and debris everywhere and lots of snails and…do you want to have a look?” “Yes, OK,” I say. Opening my bedroom door, I gasp in horror: there’s an enormous hole in the ceiling, just above my pillow. […]

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If You Were Here*

Waking up with a start, I look at my watch.  5.45pm.  Oh nooooo.  We settled down for a nap at 3pm and… “Darling can you pass me my phone,” I say to Seb.  He’s waking up:  rubbing his turquoise eyes. “Hello,” he says, putting his arms round me.  “That was such a nice sleep.  I […]

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Let The Dark Flower Blossom*

“Hey, I haven’t seen you for ages, how are you?” Heather says.  My Spin Cycling instructor, my favourite gym instructor.  And, also, the one I never see these days as her class is the 9.15am Monday morning Spin.  And, most weeks, am at my Office on a Monday morning at that time. “Well the cancer […]

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Journey To Murder*

On the train to see my parentals and my fluffy.  The weather has turned cold and grey.  In my leopard print toenails, fit flops, leopard print coat, sunglasses black furry scarf, gloves and gym trousers, do not look mentally normal.  Can report that it’s not a good day for bare toes.  They have gone blue […]

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Love Story, With Murders*

“I love you,” I say to Seb, expecting no answer.  After all, I tell him that I love him about a hundred times an hour when we’re together. “I love you,” he says.  He’s never said this before.  He mumbles it into my neck but that’s what I think I hear. “Do you?” I say, […]