Rocket Tinder

What goes up must then go further up and so I find myself in a jittery, hysterical state. A chap cancels this evening’s date – or, to be more accurate, threatens to cancel due to my messages being a bit weird – and I burst into tears and can’t stop.
Mum calls and I can’t answer the phone, I’m crying too much. She calls again.
“There’s something wrong with your phone,” Mum says. “You sound all fuzzy.
The fuzziness is the sound effect produced by me trying to talk whilst crying a bit.
I mute the sound on Switzerland vs Argentina – recorded yesterday whilst I was at the office and then on a date that lasted 20 minutes before the chap went back to work. Maybe I’d been behaving weirdly already then, I think. The familiar sense of my mood being a runaway train tumbling towards the edge of a cliff engulfs me. I’ve had three uncharacteristically late nights, I think: the 9pm matches on Sunday, Monday and last night all went to extra time (and two to penalties) so I haven’t made it to bed before 12am since Saturday.
“What’s the matter?” Mum says. “Why do you sound so strange?”
“I’m crying a bit. Something happened,” I say.
“What happened?” Mum pounces on my words. “Did someone hurt you or…”
“No,” I say, crying more because now I’m making Mum worry on top of everything else. “A boy cancelled a date tonight and it’s one I’ve been chatting to for a while so I’m upset.”
I hear a sharp intake of breath on the end of the line. On the television the players scurry around: red and blue and white ants.
“Why don’t you cancel your personal trainer and come to us and see your kitten?” Mum says. “You need a rest. You shouldn’t be going on so many dates and…”
“It’s stressful,” I say. “All these first dates produces a lot of anxiety which I have to suppress and try to behave normally and not mention my illnesses and…”
“Stop talking and just get on the train to us,”. Mum says. “I want you to have a rest from dating at least until the weekend.”
Relief floods me. I can go and see my fluffy and be looked after by my parentals. In a way I’m glad that I’ve got into a state: I do need a rest and when my mood is up I never rest. Stopping the match, I go to pack my stuff.


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