To be honest, I’m getting a little bored of Tinder and dating now. After my 20 first dates and just one second date so far, I’m not sure neither that it’s worth it, nor a particularly time or energy efficient way of meeting people.
Had fun with the Iceman but the rest of the weekend was a bit of a disaster. Managed to tell my lunch guests on Saturday to fuck off before they’d even arrived – as they were all messaging to say they were running late and I can’t stand lateness. Then when the first ones turned up I was crying. Some prosecco and help cheered me up, but the anxiety made me puke up my lunch. Am not a great hostess. Or hosting a lunch party for 10 people is tough. Or both. it was fun once everyone was there, but the pre-party nerves were terrible. Am not Mrs Dalloway. At least when I related the story to my boss just now it made her laugh I guess.
The Iceman says he doesn’t want us to see other people, although I think it’s a bit early for that. so I don’t know. He also says “I don’t want you to jump ahead too much, to take it too many days at a time.
This is because my psychiatrist had said earlier:
“They eat puffin in Iceland you know.”
So at dinner I say to the Iceman. “If your Mum invites me round for dinner and serves puffin, I can’t eat it.
“Who said anything about dinner at my Mum’s in Iceland?” he says, looking confused. “I don’t want you to jump ahead too much, take it too many days at a time or…”
“Sorry,” I say. “I just mean – you know – theoretically. I’m just anxious about refusing the stuffed puffin and…”
“I’ve never eaten puffin actually,” he says, “but we do eat the whole of a sheep – I’ve eaten sheep’s head. The jawbone really crunches when you bite it,” he adds.
I would dearly love a rest from the whole dating-a-new-chap-everyday thing, but surely one can’t throw in the towel after a mere two dates with someone. And probably he’s just saying that he doesn’t want me to see other people simply because he knows I’ve been seeing a lot of people: a proprietorial interest almost rather than anything genuine.