Storm in the night and the rain drumming on the roof wakes me up about 5.30am. After attempting to get back to sleep, I give up and drag myself through to the lounge to watch TV.
“Edward & George: Two Brothers, One Throne” is showing on Yesterday. Now here’s a cautionary tale about love. Maybe I don’t want a gorgeous aristocrat to fall in love with me after all, I think, as I watch Edward VIII throw away the throne and his relationship with his family for Wallis Simpson. I wonder what was so amazing about her, I think, looking at old footage of them together. She certainly wasn’t a great beauty. And as I see them wandering around looking miserable in exile, I am reminded that love isn’t an end in itself and that one person isn’t a substitute for a life of meaning, purpose and family.
No further word from the Iceman since our exchange of messages on Friday, so I’d better set up some other dates over the weekend. I’d rather see the Iceman, or Seb of course, than meet more new boys, probably just once ever. Unenthusiastic about the hard work involved in yet more first dates, all I want to do is watch TV and sleep.
There are things I like about dating:
1. Discovering snippets of information about different cultures
2. Gaining a new audience for my funny stories
3. Showing a new person photos of My Kitten
4. Putting on a pretty dress and make-up
5. The endlessly exciting possibility that this person might be amazing.
Sadly, there are as many, if not more, things that I don’t like about dating:
1. The anxiety that the conversation will grind to a halt, which often makes me talk non-stop to fill any gaps
2. How long a quick drink can seem if I’ve decided I don’t fancy the chap in the first few seconds and he turns out to be dull/ have a bad voice/ smell horrible
3. Having to be on constant alert that I don’t mention my mental disorder/ cancer/ other things
4. Anxiety about how to get home if I meet them somewhere that isn’t a short walk away from the flat
5. Having somehow to watch my face (how? Am inside my face) so my eyes don’t glaze over when they start talking about their job in IT or something
6. If the chap turns out to have an interesting feature – a castle, a zoo, a family tiara, a horse safari in Botswana – always end up quizzing him about this obsessively. Mustn’t. But how not to?
Anyway, I still need to hone my dating skills after all these years, so it’s no bad thing that I have to drag my exhausted self through more first dates. Or something. Yawn