At the pub, again, where they must think I’m an escort or, if they’re being charitable, a spy. That’s it: I’m waiting here for my contact, X. When he arrives I’ll ask him the code word and then hand him the folder.
A chap arrives wearing red trousers. That must be him. I wave. He looks around, spots me, wanders over.
“Hi, I’m Tanya,” I say.
“I know,” he says. His voice is ridiculously posh: ’50s BBC newsreader. “I’m Billy. You’re wearing your Tinder dress, what?”
I am indeed wearing my orange dress with the peacock feather again.
“Yeah, well, I wanted you to recognise me,” I say. “Shall we go and see the dinosaurs?”
“Excellent plan, what?” He says.
He’s 28 years old and lovely and tall, this Billy, probably about 6 foot 4. Sporting actual red trousers and a Barbour jacket, he could be a country squire.
“So, what do you do with yourself during the day,” I say as we walk through the park, past children on scooters and joggers and cyclists.
“Ah well, I work in the City around the mis-selling of financial products,” he says. But I want to be a Church of England priest.”
“Ah that’s great,” I say. If we were in a Jane Austen novel he would definitely be one to hang on to, I think.
“I’m Jewish,” I say. “I’ve never been out with an Anglican priest.”
“I’m not proposing, but what would your parents think if you married a vicar?” Billy says.
“Well my children would be Jewish, growing up in the Vicarage,” I say. “I don’t think I’d be a very good Vicar’s wife.”
“I think you’d be an excellent Vicar’s wife,” he says. “You’d be great fun and…”
“What, like Penelope the actress in See How They Run?” I say, although of course she is the niece of a bishop.
“Good knowledge,” Billy says, looking impressed.
“It’s one of my plays at work,” I say. “We have the Philip King Estate.”
“Excellent, what?” He says.
For whatever reason he likes me and is keen to see me again!
I’m writing this from my sickbed: I’ve had a temperature of 102 degrees for a couple of days, so I’m sorry if it doesn’t make much sense. My arms and legs are wobbly but also painful and my chest hurts too. No dating for the moment!