I Like It Here

I’m meeting Arjen at 6pm. It’s 5.55pm now. The bus streaks past me and comes to a standstill as the lights turn red. Now’s my chance, I think, picking up speed, running after it and then…argh. There’s the sound of wrenching and tearing as the front strap of my sandal breaks. Ah, this is why […]

Double Fault

If I don’t write this Right Now, I won’t manage a blog today, which would be terrible. Achieved Spin today for the first time in a while. It was good, but couldn’t push self very much as the-Cold-of-Doom is still very much in evidence. This impedes cycling fast, breathing, standing up in the saddle, pushing […]

The Horror, The Horror

The Captain messages, finally, at about 3pm yesterday. “I do really want to see you but I can’t make it tonight.” “OK. That’s not the end of the world,” I reply. “I don’t have much time before the operation though.” He doesn’t suggest another date. I’ve told him I’m just having a small procedure: he […]

Unfinished Symphonies: Voices From The Beyond

No word from the Captain about our date tonight which is just rude. On the plus side, the Swedish RockStarBanker is on his way, if running 15 minutes late. Am, of course, early. So far there have been a series of minor inconveniences disrupting the day. The bus was diverted so had to catch it […]

4.50 From Paddington

“I was emotionally devastated reading your article and found myself welling up and close to tears at 38000 feet,” the Tinder message comes through. It’s from one of my matches – a pilot. Haven’t met him. This is exciting though: the first Tinder chap to have read my article and messaged about it. “I’m sorry: […]

Death In Holy Orders?

“Hello beautiful xxx I’ll look forward to seeing you soon I hope xxx” the Captain’s What’s App message comes through at 10.22pm. So, the Captain either doesn’t read that newspaper or doesn’t read the section full of my mad, fat, cancerous dating self or doesn’t mind. Which is nice. “Yay! Thursday!” I reply, in case […]


The flat phone rings at an unearthly hour, jolting me out of a deep sleep. Ignoring the persistent ringing, I pull the covers up over my head and attempt to fall back to sleep. But this is not to be. The alarm kicks in, and I can’t ignore that on a Monday morning. Hauling myself […]

Nowhere Boy

“Thank you for coming to see me,” I say to Seb. He’s here, he’s actually here in my flat. He’s been to visit a university and his train brought him back to Euston and now here he is – the best surprise visitor there could possibly be. “That’s quite alright,” he says, smiling at me, […]

How I Live Now

“So, have you had any dates recently?” Dr Stein says, pen poised over my notes. His pen has a tiger on it, it’s a freebie from a drug company and I’ve got my eye on it. “Haven’t you been reading my blog?” I fire back. “Look: I was reading it but you’re too prolific for […]

Missing Parts

“I’m free on Thursday but I’d like to see you before then,” the Captain’s message arrives – finally – eleven hours after my reply to his previous message. Phew. He hasn’t gone off me already. A dull messaging discussion ensues in which it becomes clear that Thursday is indeed the earliest that we can meet […]