“Happy New Year. Have a wonderful 2015,” the WhatsApp message streaks across my screen. It’s from the Twitcher. Remember him from last November – we had a couple of dates and then he made noises about meeting again but disappeared. “It’s been a manic start, but the best things at work often come fast and furious! On a tangent, I bumped into an old acquaintance at a party last week, and we’ve decided to have a go at seeing each other. G-d only knows when I’ll have the time to do that, but I wanted to be honest with you anyway. Take care. Have fun!”
What an irritating message, I think, trudging through the frost uphill to my bus stop. Had more or less forgotten about him, and yet here he is again. Don’t see why, after weeks of silence, he suddenly feels the need to let me know:
1. How busy and important he is at work.
2. How he’s met someone in Real Life and is going to have a relationship with them.
3. If he can find the time.
4. That “it’s been a manic start.” Presumably he means he’s gone to the office a few times. Hate this misuse of ‘manic’ by people who have no concept of mania. Unless he really is three weeks into a manic episode and has been spending his time riding an ostrich in the woods, playing the same song over and over again and having a tea party with all his teddy bears under his desk in the middle of the night. He hasn’t slept this year and he’s writing a symphony, building a house and knitting gloves for dogs, or he would be if he could only find the right soundtrack and sit still for more than twenty seconds…
5. That he still exists and is much happier now he doesn’t have to spend his time sending messages to me.
Anyway, there are plenty more boys:
1. Have been chatting to the Dog Trainer:
DT: Maybe you could come down for a walk one day?
Me: Would love to if you don’t mind meeting me round here first? (Safety etc). Have Lemurs in my park here if you would like to meet them?
DT: Sure. No problem. Sounds cool.
2. That other new 38 year old who has a media consultancy and is setting up a magazine. Could be useful. Let’s call him MediaChap:
MediaChap: We could meet Friday or Sunday evening?
3. There is meant to be a second date happening with last week’s NewChap, the one who lives in Richmond, or as brother’s friend terms him “the one with the thinning hair”.
Sometimes messages are nice. Let me leave you with this morning’s little note from Mum:
Have a lovely day at the office.
It is very cold so wear your lovely new coat.
Happy Tuesday everyone!