Gravity’s Rainbow

Ah, it is just so nice not to be miserable. Am writing this on the bike in the hotel gym in Stratford. That’s Stratford-upon-Avon. Obviously. Swans glide across my view: the gym looks out over the river. Boats are moored on the right of my vision and willows weep over the water. It’s light and airy in here.
This is our first holiday since the drinking Writing Retreat in Burgundy in early August, and it’s great to be away from everything. All we have to do is arrive at the restaurants and theatres on time. Everything is within walking distance: theatres, restaurants, Butterfly House.
Anyway: this post isn’t a advertisement for tourism in Warwickshire – can’t believe they need that. Am going to tell you a bit about not-being-depressed after three months, almost to the day, of low mood.

1. Wake up full of excitement for the day ahead: breakfast, gym and whatever else the day holds.
2. Engage in chat with people. Anyone: waitresses, tramps etc.
3. Suddenly don’t feel fat and disgusting. Need to watch this as it may lead to unhealthy food choices.
4. Put on make-up: this is more a sign for other people to recognise than a symptom. “I can tell whether you are up or down by whether or not you’ve bothered with make-up,” one of my aunts says.
5. Can go into shops. Need to watch this as can spend too much money. One of my chums makes a rule that she won’t spend more than £20 at a time on an impulse buy…
6. Suddenly want to make plans with chums and speak to people on the phone. Need to watch this as often end up cancelling plans as have over-committed self.
7. Also sometimes people are not pleased if you’ve ignored their calls for months and then call them five times in a day. People are Not Nice.
8. Raised mood tends to result in increased posting on other people’s blogs/ Facebook pages etc. Sorry.
9. Talk more and faster and often on unpalatable themes: the charms of teenage boys and so on. Ah well: have three months of monosyllabic answers to make up for. Mum just takes out her hearing aids.
10. Write more and tone of writing becomes lighter and funnier.
11. And, I think, the writing improves. Self criticism declines.
12. Find everything more amusing.
13. Stop worrying.
14. Can lift more in the gym. A lot more. Going to do that now.
15. Have more energy.
16. Sleep less.

If anyone has my panther, please be kind to him. It’s not his fault. It’s just the way he is…

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