The Black Minutes*

Waiting for Seb. He calls:
“I’m terribly sorry,” he says. “My TomTom lost its signal and I seem to be near Croydon and…”
“OK, so what time do you think you’ll be here,” I say. Looking at my watch, I see that it’s two o’clock, the time that he was meant to arrive.
“Well the TomTom says I’ll be with you at three o’clock,” he says.
“Another hour?” I say. I’m starving: haven’t had any lunch. Have made a Mexican feast for us: guacamole, re -fried beans, spicy vegetables, grated cheese, wraps and salad.
“I’m so terribly sorry,” Seb says, sounding flustered. “I know this is exactly the same story as every time and…”
“That’s ok darling,” I say. An hour gives me time to watch episode two of ‘Hitler’s Bodyguard’, I think. “I’ll see you soon.”

Things to do before Seb arrives:
1. Wipe table.
2. Clean kitchen surfaces.
3. Wash up all the cans and place in recycling. Mexican feast has produced: a) salsa jar
b). Jalapeños jar
c). Refried beans can
d) chopped tomatoes can
e). Yoghurt pot
They all need to be cleaned and then recycled.
4. Get dressed – have achieved bath.
5. Apply make-up.
6. Paint finger nails.
7. And toenails.
8. Throw away or hide all magazines that are, at the moment, lying on the floor.
9. Hang coat up.
10. Move bags into bedroom
11. Hang cardigans up.
12. Wash up and put away chopping board, sharp knife, cheese grater.

Had better get cracking…

*A Mexican crime novel. Mexican crime writing is apparently termed ‘narcoliterature’.

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