Goodbye To All That

“Biopsies have both come back cancerous.  Going to need a lot of investigations and possible surgery. Don’t have the emotional resources to put into anything else.  Think you are lovely, have enjoyed your company.  If you want to, we can be friends xxx”.  Taking a deep breath, I press send and the message floats through the ether, towards MediaChap.

     “Tanya my darling, I’m thinking of you and give you a massive hug,” his message comes back two hours later.  “This must be tough and you can still fight.  With my lifestyle being so inconsistent I do understand where you’re coming from.  Of course we can be friends, I think you’re an amazing, shining star and have opened up to me like spring.  I value that, I’m on your side and will gladly remain your comrade xxx”

    Ah sweet, I think.  That was obviously the right way to do it.  He is ever so kind, I think, and he certainly has a way with words.  Already, feel lighter.  A burden has been lifted.

     “Thank you,” I say.

     “Hugs for hot cakes,” MediaChap says.

    “I don’t want to have more treatment.  It’s so humiliating,” I say.

    “It must be, but your soul still stands out, despite what may happen to you,” he says.  “Hope I’m not being patronising, just the people who care about you value things about you that can’t be taken away from you.  Even if you feel your dignity is at risk.”

    “Thank you,” I say.  

    The buzz of a text message.  It’s my Seb .  “Sorry to hear there’s more trouble, I’m always here if you need to talk.”

    “Call flat,” I say.

    “Hello,” Seb says.  

    “Hi,” I say.

     “Look, I’ll come up as soon as I can,” he says.

      “Thank you,” I say.  “How’s your Mum?”

      We chat for a few minutes, about Wolf Hall and his brother’s thoughts on it.  Feel a bit better afterwards…

6 thoughts on “Goodbye To All That

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