Don’t Touch The Axe*

The striped rabbits are by Made By Maggie.  Am giving one to Seb because am nice.  They are made from recycled cashmere sweaters stuffed with lavender.  If you want one, comment and will let her know…

For the first time in months, if not years, purchased a Women’s Magazine and am reading about How-to-please-your-boyfriend.  Will condense its suggestions for you:

1.  Grow your hair down to the floor.  If you can’t step on your hair you must be a bloke.

2.  Be Cara Delevigne or Georgia May Jagger or another very young, very wealthy size zero model with floor-lenth hair.

2.  If you can’t be a cadaverous supermodel in your early twenties, be a “world class chocolatier”

3.   Or, failing all else, become an A-list actress – article accompanied by photos of not-very-good-actresses.

4.  Wear “statement lips”, or what we would recognise as 1980s-P.E. -Teacher-lips – frosted pale pink or sparkly orange.

5.  “Try a grey smoked eye for a super-glam look”.  Leave the other eye unsmoked.  Style inspiration: Malcolm McDowell as Alex in A Clockwork Orange

6.  “6 new bases.  From full coverage to barely there, they might just change your life”. Bases = foundations presumably.  

7.  “Start rebelling against nail art”, that terrible oppressor.

It’s not all doom and gloom though.  This happened:

“In my first job in HR, my boss was called Mr Balzac.  Someone applying for a junior role addressed their letter to ‘Mr Ballsack’.  To this day, I can’t decide if it was a genuine error or a practical joke.”

*2007 film of The Duchess of Langeais by Mr Ballsack (sic)

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6 thoughts on “Don’t Touch The Axe*

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