Murder Most Foul*

Continuing the theme of what-women’s-magazines-can-teach-us, have been reading more of them.  Have gleaned these bits of information:

1.  “Q:  Should I be matching my nail colour to my lipstick or handbag?

A: Too much matching can feel overdone and retro…if you wear a raspberry lip, tame your nails down with a softer pink.”

2.  “Men not only find women in heels more attractive, they’ll actually be more courteous to them too.  Researchers set up different scenarios…the higher the heel, the more attention the woman got.”

Had better bin the fit-flops then…

3.  “Playing with the concept of personal space – not in a bus weirdo way – can pique his attention in the early stages.”

4.  “What could a woman do to impress you?” – question to a chap: no idea who he is.

      “A: A genuine smile is the only thing I’m looking for.”

Can manage that one.  Good.

5.  “T.S Eliot wasn’t kidding when he said April was the cruellest month.  Although, somehow, I don’t think he was referring to the sense of crushing defeat upon realising that all the lovely spring clothes staring out tantalisingly from the style pages of the glossies only work with a thick pair of tights.”

6.  “Now it’s time for pastels to rebel.”  They can join the anti-nail-art revolution…

7.  “Chanel’s white cotton blouse has just enough ruffles for romance.”  Important not to under-ruffle, and vital not to have a surfeit of ruffles, if you want Romance.

8.  “Sexy meets pretty in Rochas’ billowy, backless design – perfect for flaunting sun-kissed skin.”

Oh dear.  If one is pale and has a back covered in scars it can’t work.

9.  “Now’s the time to try dungarees.”  

No.  It’s not.  

10.  If possible, be: Michelle Obama, Natalie Portman or “a self-help guru”.

11.  Don’t eat: carbs, sugar, starchy veg or grains if you want to be “high functioning, happy and efficient.”

Happy Wednesday everyone!

*Britain’s number one true crime quarterly.