Tears Of The Giraffe*

“What time is it?” Seb says.  

Turning to look at my watch, I say “it’s six fifty.  I’ve just woken up and am with my darling Seb.

“I’d better get up and help my mum with moving some chairs,” he says.

Oh good, I think.  He doesn’t want to go back to sleep.  I’m not going to be able to get back to sleep: I’m awake now.   

“Please may I have some coffee?” I say.  

“Did you sleep well?” Seb says, smiling at me.  His hair is long now.

“Yes,” I say, gazing into his turquoise eyes.

“You didn’t wake up?” He says.

“Just a couple of times and fell straight back to sleep,” I say.  This, these days, counts as a good night.  “There was a perilous expedition to the loo in the dark, but survived it.”

“Oh good,” he says, stroking my arm. 

Outside there are the sounds of trolleys being wheeled around.  They roll across the drive, between the barn and the house.  

“Right, I’d better go,” Seb says.

He returns with my coffee.

“Thank you darling,” I say.

Switching my phone on, I start writing this.

A few minutes pass.  His heavy tread comes up the stairs.  The door creaks open.

“Right, I’m off,” he says.

“OK,” I say, not looking up from my phone. 

As soon as he’s gone, I watch him out of the window.  He’s wheeling a trolley laden with boxes.  Kick myself for not looking up at him a few moments ago.  He is my love and this is our precious time together and yet I was unable to break my concentration on my writing for a few seconds to engage with him whilst he was trying to communicate with me.  As soon as he returns I will apologise, I resolve.  

On the plus side, well done me – not only for finding a bit of concentration but also for spending it on some actual writing.  Although now am having a little cry about what-if-Seb-is-upset-that-ignored-him.

Must stop crying as if am trying-to-apologise-for-not-attending-to-his-chat-earlier whilst there are tears running down face, that will annoy him.  It will be construed as Being Manipulative.  He has probably forgotten/ didn’t even notice me ignoring him earlier.

Now am thinking maybe shouldn’t mention it.  But I want him to know that I know that I did it and am not oblivious to him.  Or something.  Long distance relationships are hard.  Or maybe just life is hard.  Don’t know.

Maybe a cat or dog will come in for a cuddle.  There is a large pack of them here: four cats and three dogs.

The attached wooden picture lives in the bedroom.  Love it.

Happy Saturday.  Or it will be once have pulled self together.  Already feel better as have written this so don’t have to spend the day worrying about when-will-there-be-time-to-write-the-blog.  Going to apologise to Seb for not giving him my full attention earlier and it will be OK and we can have a nice time.

Happy Saturday everyone!
*2000.  By Alexander McCall Smith.  The second in the Number 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency series, set in Botswana. 


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