High Fidelity*

“Do you know what this is, my lovely?” Seb says, gesturing at the television.

“Ummmm,” I say.  There’s Vanessa Redgrave and Emma Thompson clad in Edwardian gear: long skirts, velvet hats, high-necked blouses.  It’s a period film but am not sure what.

“It’s Howards End,” Seb says, sounding cheerful.  “This is the film that made me want to become an actor and…”

“Where are we in it?” I say, sipping my coffee.

“It’s just started,” Seb says.  “I’m so pleased that we can watch this.  You’ll love it, my lovely.”

“Can’t believe I’ve never seen it,” I say.  “Or read it.  And I love Forster and…”

“It’s much better than Maurice,” Seb says, as we see James Wilby, the star of the aforementioned Maurice.  “Anthony Hopkins is just wonderful in this too:  so sharp and…look at the light there, on that horse chestnut tree.  Beautiful.”

Seb pulls me closer to him and kisses my neck.  Suddenly I’m flooded with happiness.  It’s the first day of the year and I’m watching a Merchant Ivory film with my darling Seb, in my flat.  We’ve just eaten spinach, scrambled eggs and feta – cooked by me.  It was delicious.

It seems incredible that after all these years, I’ve got him back: far stranger than a work of fiction.  And although often it seems that the whole world is against us, and that life is unbearably difficult – when I’m with my Seb everything seems OK.

I’m probably going to have to undergo the boredom, pain and horror of radiotherapy early this year.  At least now I’ve got my darling boy to help me through it.

The attached photo is yesterday’s lunch.

Am back at the parentals now and my Seb is on the motorway in the rain and darkness.  Hope he makes it back safe and sound.

Happy Friday everyone! 
*1995. By Nick Hornby.  Novel.  Adapted as a film in 2000 starring John Cusack.  Just been watching it with Mum: it’s great.