Dating Is Murder*

Monday morning at 8.15am and am settled on my bike at the gym.  The sky is a cloudless blue.  This is becoming a regular part of my Monday morning routine, which is brilliant. Thinking about what I’ve learned from nine months of dating: 1.  When swiping through Tinder profiles at the rate of sixty or […]

This Is Not An Exit

“So, we’ll just have drinks,” Richard Dawkins the Atheist says to our waitress. Or, as we’re going to call him, Dick. “I thought we were eating?” I say. It’s 7.20pm and I’m hungry and…anyway…it’s not up to him to dictate whether or not I eat something. “I have dinner plans,” Dick says. “Oh,” I say, […]

Something Rotten In The State Of Denmark

1. DON’T suggest meeting at a swanky bar that is not only prohibitively expensive but also attached to a restaurant. 2. If he arrives, says “I’m starving, shall we get some food here” DON’T say “Yes” if you’ve never been to the restaurant before. 3. If the menu arrives and you can tell that it’s […]

Tea For Two

“I couldn’t resist to your smile. Also you’re really sexy. Can I take you out for a tea?” The Tinder message flashes up. It’s from a bright young French thing, age 26. Not sure if am going to meet him yet, but the message makes me smile every time I look at it. The cutie. […]

Unfinished Symphonies: Voices From The Beyond

No word from the Captain about our date tonight which is just rude. On the plus side, the Swedish RockStarBanker is on his way, if running 15 minutes late. Am, of course, early. So far there have been a series of minor inconveniences disrupting the day. The bus was diverted so had to catch it […]

Can You Feel The Love Tonight?

Apart from a potential second date with Jarvis – if it happens it will be only the second second date I’ve landed since the start of this blog – there is no Tinder action on the horizon. Cancelled Monday’s date due to the Cold-Of-Doom and am tempted not to rearrange it as he’s a thirty […]

Another Country

Another evening, another chap. Same venue – my pub. With all the new blocks of flats going up in the area, we really need more than one pub. The one in my road closed about a year after I moved in and now is about to be turned into flats, like everything else. Anyway – […]

New Bright Young Things

Now that I’m back in the country, The Bright Young Things are bombarding me with Tinder messages. This, from a 25 year old banker: Do you always swipe right on younger guys or am I a lucky one? Me: I like them quite young (plus dancing girl emoji) Him: Well I’m sure you have no […]