Farewell My Lovely*

Writing this with a heavy heart, but have decided to put this blog on hold for the time being.  My energies and enthusiasms are more engaged at present with my new cycling, bipolar and sportswear blog: Www.rapidcyclistwordpresscom.wordpress.com Can’t write two blogs everyday and it is making me stressed trying to keep up with both of […]

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The Shanghai Gesture*

One characteristic of manic depressives is a tendency to become obsessed with people, subjects or things.  Have learned about a variety of subjects because of my disorder: from Robbie Williams to Akitas and from Michael Ballack to the Icelandic horse.  These obsessions can become expensive, and tend to last for the duration of a hypomanic […]

A Siege Of Bitterns*

“Tanya, it’s Seb,” Mum calls through the bathroom door. “Where?” I shout. “On the phone,” Mum calls. “On my way,” I shout, hauling myself out of the bath, pulling my towel round me. “So, the thing about garden birds is that they’re an artificially sustained population,” Mum is saying into the phone when I make […]

Gin and Daggers*

This year am participating in Ginuary: a different gin-based drink for each day in January.  Am not a detox fan and it’s the opposite of a detox.  It’s also a fun, creative project and a friend does it too.  Read about it here: Www.ginuary.com Started with a French 75 on New Year’s Eve: gin, champagne […]

Hickory Dickory Dock*

“I need some morphine,” I say, standing at the nurses’ station.  “I’m in so much pain and…” “Which room are you?” A nurse says.  She’s young, pretty: long black hair tied in a ponytail. “Fifteen,” I say.   She pulls my chart down from a shelf, looks along it. “You’re not due anything for the […]

The Fugitive*

New Year’s Resolutions 1.  Be kinder to elderly parentals.  Particularly to Dad.  He puts up with So Much. 2.  Do this at least once per day.  But not more than three times per hour.  Mustn’t exhaust self. 3.  Drink less water.  All it does is turn into wee anyway. 4.  Work towards own Keeshond puppy […]

In Cold Blood*

Needing a wee, pushing, awaiting the magic of the catheter where the feeling disappears as the liquid goes down the tube into the bag, I’m suddenly soaked with warm water.  It’s all over my legs and tummy, the sheets and duvet.  Oh no.   Ringing my buzzer, I’m shaking.  This is horrible.  The nurse comes […]

Nightcrawler*

Jolting out of sleep, I check my watch: 3.45am.  Yuck.  I’m wide awake: morning-awake.  Switching my phone on, reaching for my water bottle, I gulp some down.  It’s annoying, but understandable.  Am, despite what have been telling everyone (why?) nervous about Major Surgery in 2 days time.   Checking Facebook, there are about ten of […]

Mystery In White*

   Normal service will be resumed tomorrow.  Mood has gone quite high so am going to meditate and rest. Tomorrow am dog sitting all day for the fluffy Keeshond.  Can’t wait.  Have cancelled all my more-stimulating plans as am not up to them.  Need to rest. The attached photo is the elephant in Seb’s Mum’s […]

Waterloo Sunset*

“But you said you’d take me to the garden centre,” I say, sitting next to Mum on the sofa.  Need to get out of the house and do something.  Can’t just sit here. “We can go at two o’clock,” Mum says, looking at the crossword, pen poised above the paper. “That won’t give us long […]