Neon Panic*

Waking up with a start I see that it’s 6.33pm and I haven’t yet made a start on the day’s tasks.  After gym this morning I had a lunch meeting and then my sleep, so have to do Everything now. Crawling through to the kitchen, I boil the kettle, chop the stem off my artichoke, […]

Trouble Is My Business*

Painventory 1.  Cramp in left leg – down the side and around the knee, but on the inside – the inner knee.  No idea how/ why this has happened. 2.  Blocked nose: new allergy that am going to see a specialist about in three weeks, by which time it will probably have killed me.  Although […]

The Yellow Wallpaper*

As we wait for Spin to start, I realise that the new studio wallpaper (photo attached) evokes that in the kitchen at my parental home.  It’s disconcerting.  It’s also Too Hot in here.  The air conditioning must be broken again.  Mustn’t grumble: this is my favourite Spin class – 11.15am on Saturday, and I haven’t […]

Blood On The Line*

“Excuse me, I’ve booked a ticket for the 3.45 but, um, am I allowed to catch an earlier train because…” I trail off.  Because I’m an hour early because I’m always an hour early and really, I prefer to be moving otherwise I’m alone with the voices that shout ‘you’re going to miss the train/ […]

Eye For An Eye*

“Happy Tuesday?  Have cancelled my Saturday morning appointment so can come down on Friday now if that suits,” I message Seb this morning. When I wake up in the night, drenched in sweat, am panicking about not going to see Seb until Saturday when it will be busy.  Also there is a train strike planned […]

The Cat Who Saw Stars*

Waking up with a start, I fumble for my watch.  5.15am.  Ah, the joy of hot flushes.  Sipping from my water bottle, wiping my sweat-drenched face with the towel that now lives on the floor next to my bed, I put on my Body Scan CD. After listening to it twice, I’m still awake.  No […]

Wild Goose Chase*

“The thing is,” I say to Mum as we stand in the kitchen, “I’m so hot all the time: I’m burning up inside.”   I’m just back from a bike ride with Dad, after receiving my Zolodex injection at the doctor.  And I’ve got thrush again.  Who knows why. “It’s all very well you telling […]

Under The Knife*

“So, um, I just wanted to say,” I say, looking at my surgeon.  “So, um, when the oncologist said last week that the cancer was in my lungs now, I didn’t really need to know that and, you know, I already knew, because you said, that it had spread and…well I was wondering, in future […]

The Killer Inside Me*

What blogging has taught me: 1.  In eleven months, haven’t had any writer’s block.  If you know that your readers are expecting a piece, you’ll write one.  It’s the same as writing to a deadline.  Thank you all so much for reading and for all your comments.  It means such a lot to me. 2. […]

Education, Education, Murder!*

Life-threatening illness changes you, but not always in the ways you’d expect.   1.  “Am not going to see anything else at the theatre unless I’m really desperate to see it,” I say to Mum.  “I just haven’t enjoyed the last few plays I’ve been to.  It’s too uncomfortable sitting for hours on end without […]