The Sound And the Furry*

Ooooohhhhh the Day of Enormous Excitement has arrived.  Have been anticipating this event for actual Years: Fourteen whole Years. Need to be at the Venue of Amazingnosity at 6pm. “Please don’t worry about being early as it doesn’t start till 6.45 and I won’t be there till 6 and I don’t want you hanging around […]

Killer Instinct*

Waking from a three hour afternoon sleep, I crawl through to the television on switch it on.  Serena is losing.  She lost the first set 4 – 6 and although she is roaring and slamming down the serves, she’s not comfortable today.   It’s 2 – 2 in the second set and Serena is serving […]

Cat Of Many Tails*

Happy First Birthday to this blog. Wow.  When I started it a year ago, I could never have imagined that it would take off in such a spectacular way.  It’s been discussed on the radio, on film and in print.  It has readers all over the world. So, thank you, all of you.  Thank you […]

The Cat Who Sang For The Birds*

“What’s the fluffy monster doing?” I ask Mum when I call to inform her that I’ve left the Office. “He’s telling me that he wants his supper,” Mum says. Can hear the sound of her shaking some dry food into his bowl. “Hello Mr Fluffy,” I say. “Say hello to Tanya,” Mum says to him. […]

The Yellow Wallpaper*

As we wait for Spin to start, I realise that the new studio wallpaper (photo attached) evokes that in the kitchen at my parental home.  It’s disconcerting.  It’s also Too Hot in here.  The air conditioning must be broken again.  Mustn’t grumble: this is my favourite Spin class – 11.15am on Saturday, and I haven’t […]

Perfect Day For A Murder*

1.  Start reading A Book.  Not some airport novel to get-my-reading-muscles-working.  No.  A proper book: The Tories: Conservatives And The Nation State 1922 – 1997 by Alan Clark.  And it’s gripping. Already, Bonar Law has complained of feeling ‘mouldy’ and succumbed to oesophageal cancer.  Am feeling mouldy too.  Going to use this one: it’s great. […]

Birthdays For The Dead*

“I’d like the new Peter Ackroyd Hitchcock biography.  Or the new Kate Atkinson.  For my birthday,” I say to my brother.  He’s shaving his head over the sink, with an electric device.  There’s a loud buzzing.  He probably can’t hear me. “What’s that?” He shouts, turning  off the electric shaver, lifting his head up. “You’ve […]

Roar*

“So I’ve been thinking of nice things to do for your birthday,” Seb says, on the phone just a few minutes ago. “Wow, exciting!” I say, switching the grill off, taking my omelette out.  Will finish cooking it after this chat.  Can’t remember the last time I had a boyfriend on my birthday.  Probably the […]

Wild Goose Chase*

“The thing is,” I say to Mum as we stand in the kitchen, “I’m so hot all the time: I’m burning up inside.”   I’m just back from a bike ride with Dad, after receiving my Zolodex injection at the doctor.  And I’ve got thrush again.  Who knows why. “It’s all very well you telling […]

Murder In Port Aux Basques*

“Who was Tyndareus?  Do you think he went on Tinder.  Was he Philomela’s sister’s husband?” My brother says. “I don’t know,” I say, drinking my coffee, bustling around the room, looking for my key.  Have to get to the gym by 8am or won’t manage an hour in there before breakfast at 9. “Let’s look […]