Killer Instinct*

“Have set off,” Seb’s message comes through at 11.13am, “but will be after lunch arrival.  A while after.  Sorry xxx.” “That’s OK my love,” I reply, on my return from a bike ride with Dad.  “The doubles starts at 2pm.  I go back to flat to prepare for it.” Andy and Jamie Murray must win […]

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The Art Of Killing Well*

“I couldn’t wait to get to the market today to see if there were any artichokes,” I say to Seb when he calls this evening. “And were there?” He says. “Yes!  I bought two and now I’m cooking one,” I say.   “So it’s not like that time on your birthday,” Seb says, sounding amused, […]

Game, Set and Murder*

  “What a beautiful person he is!  Happy day?xxx”   At the theatre, I’ve turned my phone on during the interval, and can see Seb’s message.  The ‘beautiful person’ referred to is, of course, the fluffy monster.  Sent Seb a couple of fluffy-monster-photos earlier in the day. Can’t reply though because in the ten minutes before the start of […]

Murder By The Seaside*

“I’m looking forward to seeing my dogs,” Seb says as we leave his flat. “I’m looking forward to seeing all the animal people,” I say.  The fluffy monster’s mum and uncle and two sisters will be there, along with the three dogs.  Am wearing my nice dress: the short leopard and tiger print red, gold, black […]

Murder On The Brighton Express*

So, you’re in a long distance relationship, and you’re excited to see your love.  Here’s how to utilise the day of the date: 1.  Have a lie-in, if possible.  Sleep helps effect that dewy, youthful complexion. 2.  Drink two pints of water to achieve a poo before breakfast.  This tip from the great Cameron Diaz, […]

The Killing Pool*

Sitting on sofa, in turquoise towel (not mine), paralysed by indecision, exhaustion and torpor.  Need to: 1.  Wash all the towels: this one; my mint green one which Seb used when I quite clearly said “you can use the bright blue one”; my hand towels which keep drenching in night sweat. 2.  Put on a […]