The Figaro Murders*

“Right,” I say to Seb as he’s throwing his rucksack over his shoulder and preparing to leave.  “Am going to make a note that we’re up to The Flood episode in Season Six of Mad Men so…” “What – that’s the last one we’ve watched?” Seb says.  “I’m sorry that I’m not clearing up – […]

A Siege Of Bitterns*

“Tanya, it’s Seb,” Mum calls through the bathroom door. “Where?” I shout. “On the phone,” Mum calls. “On my way,” I shout, hauling myself out of the bath, pulling my towel round me. “So, the thing about garden birds is that they’re an artificially sustained population,” Mum is saying into the phone when I make […]

High Fidelity*

“Do you know what this is, my lovely?” Seb says, gesturing at the television. “Ummmm,” I say.  There’s Vanessa Redgrave and Emma Thompson clad in Edwardian gear: long skirts, velvet hats, high-necked blouses.  It’s a period film but am not sure what. “It’s Howards End,” Seb says, sounding cheerful.  “This is the film that made […]

Design For Living*

1.  Seb is here. 2.  Walked the Keeshond yesterday with MadFatRunner.  Had fun.  Got a bit lost and were out for 3 hours. 3.  He is in attached photo. 4.  Lit the Chanukah candles and fed MadFatRunner latkes. 5. Pizza is coming. 6.  So is sleep eventually. 7.  Mood has gone up a bit so […]

Shallow Grave*

“You can tell by his game that he’s worried: just the way he’s hitting the ball, the errors he’s making,” the commentator says.  David Goffin, the world number 16, is a set and a break down to Kyle Edmund, the British twenty year old ranked 100 in the world. “He should be strutting around there […]

Dirty Laundry*

“Get out of bed and sort that washing out,” the panther says, breathing into my face.  His breath smells of rotten meat. It’s 5.30pm and I’m trying, and failing to achieve my afternoon sleep. “I’m not doing it,” I tell him.  He looks appalled and turns away from me, waving his tail.  He gazes out […]

The Omelet Murder Case*

Seb still loves me, I think, and a warm glow suffuses my whole self.   As long as we are together, nothing is that bad.  Can’t wait to see him and cuddle him and talk to him.  Can’t wait to cook him The Omelette.  Haven’t managed to learn to cook any new dishes, but after […]

Love Story, With Murders*

“Hello,” Seb says.  It’s almost ten o’clock but my love is calling me! “My darling,” I say.  “Hello.  I miss you.” “Oh, my love, I miss you too,” he says.  “It’s difficult, finding a time to call and, well, I set an alarm and I fell asleep and…” “I was worried that I hadn’t heard […]

Red Harvest*

The fields flash past.  Am on the train home already.  It’s a gorgeous hot day and the sky is a cloudless blue. Haven’t heard from Seb for a week.  His last message was last Saturday.  Hope that there is some innocent explanation for this: 1.  He’s broken his new Thai phone. 2.  He’s been kidnapped […]

The Bumblebee Flies Anyway*

No messages from Seb since Saturday.  Maybe his phone has been drowned in the rain.  Or sucked dry by leeches.  Hope he will send a message soon.  Am missing him.  There’s no point in worrying about it, I tell myself.  He will be in touch.  Must hold on to this thought. The panther dozes on […]