The Diary Of A Killer Cat*

“Looking forward to seeing you, lovely.  Can I bring anything later? xxx” Seb’s message comes through at 1.21pm today as I’m sitting at my desk in my Office. “Balsamic vinegar please,” I say.  Am running low on this and need it for the artichokes.  Could, and probably should, purchase it myself, but it is good […]

Advertisement

The Seagull Said Murder*

“Ack ack ack ack ack,” a gull says. “Ack ack squawk aaaacccckkkk,” another gull says. “Ack ack ack squawk ack squawk,” the first gull says. “Woo hoo woo hoo woo hoo,” a wood pigeon says. “Ack ack ack ack ack,” a gull says. It is 6.30am and am awake now.  The Dawn Chorus has been […]

The Sea, The Sea*

Seb is still asleep.  Have been awake since 7.20am.  It’s now 10.01am.  Don’t understand how he can sleep for sooooooo long in the morning.   Sunlight streams through the thin curtains.  Can hear the roar of the sea and the screeching of the gulls. We’re missing a beautiful day out there.  Just want to walk […]

The Adventure Of The Six Napoleons*

“So, I’ve got an exam tomorrow,” Seb says, when he calls last night. “At what time – so I can send positive thoughts,” I say, although what I mean is: at what time – so I can text you to remind you to attend it.  Or: wonder if you know what time exam is.  Maybe check. […]

Birthdays For The Dead*

“I’d like the new Peter Ackroyd Hitchcock biography.  Or the new Kate Atkinson.  For my birthday,” I say to my brother.  He’s shaving his head over the sink, with an electric device.  There’s a loud buzzing.  He probably can’t hear me. “What’s that?” He shouts, turning  off the electric shaver, lifting his head up. “You’ve […]