Wicked Autumn*

“Hello lovely.  Am out with brother,” Seb’s message comes through at 2.44pm.  “Nice markets around so I’ll bring supper.  Any requests?” “Thank you,” I reply.  My darling Seb.  “Olives, bread and cheese please xxx.” Have been filming all day with Mum and am so exhausted that my mind has gone blank.  It’s already almost dark […]

Dressed To Kill

Before leaving the house for tonight’s date with MediaChap, need to: 1. Have bath and even wash hair. 2. Clean contact lenses: am one of the last people in the world who still wears gas-permeable lenses. Can’t just open a packet and take out some new lenses: have to mess about with two different solutions […]

Puss In Boots

Still nothing from HorseBoy. He still hasn’t read my message replying to his question about meeting up. Either: 1. He lost his phone on New Year’s Eve. 2. He doesn’t want to meet again before Tuesday and has changed his mind and that’s why he hasn’t read my message – he can see that I’ve […]

Autumn Almanac

“Is your surname Jacobs? Because you’re a real cracker!” the Tinder message flashes up. It’s from a new Bright Young Thing, aged 25. “Thank you. That made me smile, you cutie,” I reply. It does seem to have been busy overnight on my Tinder. There are many new messages this morning. Supposedly Sunday is Tinder […]