The Anniversary Man*

“I got you a little something, for our anniversary and Valentine’s Day,” I say to Seb when he calls yesterday. “When’s Valentine’s Day?” Seb says. “February 14th,” I say.  Surely he ought to know this, but then again maybe it’s a good sign that he doesn’t: it means he hasn’t been wining and dining a […]

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The Painted Veil*

China 1925.   Toby Jones, Naomi Watts and Edward Norton are in a remote Chinese mountain town in the midst of a cholera epidemic.  They have opium, bamboo forests and possibly pandas, although haven’t seen one yet.  They are carried everywhere in litters on the shoulders of local people, which seems an excellent way to […]

Gone With The Wind*

“Is that the toast coming up, already?” Mum says, sitting on the arm of the chair, peering into my sick bucket. 11.15 am.  Gone With The Wind Has been playing for forty five minutes or so.  Atlanta is burning.  Am on all fours in front of the television, vomiting into the mop bucket. “Yes,” I […]

Before Sunrise*

“Why am I not allowed to sleep?” MadFatRunner texts at 2.37am.  See the message when wake up and switch on phone at 4.07. “Nor me.  Just woke up,” I message back.  Am anxious about the operation which is Tomorrow now.  Argh. No answering message from her, so let’s hope she’s sleeping now. Am writing this […]

Groomed For Murder*

“I’ve got a surprise for you,” I tell Seb when he calls today. “Oooohhhh what is it my lovely?” Seb says. “Not telling,” I say.  “It’s a good thing that am going to make for you.  If can pull it off, you’ll be impressed and…” “How exciting,” Seb says, sounding animated.  “What’s in it?” “Not […]

Mystery In White*

   Normal service will be resumed tomorrow.  Mood has gone quite high so am going to meditate and rest. Tomorrow am dog sitting all day for the fluffy Keeshond.  Can’t wait.  Have cancelled all my more-stimulating plans as am not up to them.  Need to rest. The attached photo is the elephant in Seb’s Mum’s […]

Murder On The Orient Express*

“Guess what we have at school today?” Suzie’s message comes through at 10.33am.  “A real live reindeer :).  Do you want to come say hello?  You free at 1pm?  Can get you in for a cuddle.” Ahhhhh love reindeer.  Used to look after them at the zoo.  They’re the only animal with a completely furry […]

Leaving Time*

E”Excuse me, do you happen to have a pig or a tapir?” I say to the manager of the shop.  I’m at the place where I purchased Mum’s beaded dinosaur last week, looking for a present for Seb’s Mum. “We’ve got a sheep,” she says, standing up, moving round the front of her desk, walking over […]

Towards Zero*

“If he wins, Andy and Kim will have to call the baby Davis,” I say to Seb. We’re in the nest in front of the television, and Andy is leading David Goffin 6 – 3, 7 – 5, 5 – 3.  Kim Murray is due to give birth in February. “Or David,” Seb says, as […]

Killer Instinct*

“Have set off,” Seb’s message comes through at 11.13am, “but will be after lunch arrival.  A while after.  Sorry xxx.” “That’s OK my love,” I reply, on my return from a bike ride with Dad.  “The doubles starts at 2pm.  I go back to flat to prepare for it.” Andy and Jamie Murray must win […]