Under The Knife*

“So, um, I just wanted to say,” I say, looking at my surgeon.  “So, um, when the oncologist said last week that the cancer was in my lungs now, I didn’t really need to know that and, you know, I already knew, because you said, that it had spread and…well I was wondering, in future […]

The Dinosaur Feather*

What am I going to do, I think.  Am allergic to feathers and it is possible, even probable, that Seb has feather bedding.  All day I worry about this. “Well then you must take your own bedding in a wheely suitcase,” a friend says.  And would, if was going there and back in car.  But […]

Dating Is Murder*

Monday morning at 8.15am and am settled on my bike at the gym.  The sky is a cloudless blue.  This is becoming a regular part of my Monday morning routine, which is brilliant. Thinking about what I’ve learned from nine months of dating: 1.  When swiping through Tinder profiles at the rate of sixty or […]

Side Effects*

“So, um, what are you doing on that Monday after the weekend I’m coming to visit?” I ask Seb when he calls last night. “Nothing,” he says.  “Well – it’s my half term so…” “I was thinking, maybe if I take the Monday off work so I don’t have to rush back on the Sunday […]

Love You To Death*

  “Hope you’re getting on OK.  I’m sure you are xx”  Seb texts at 2.04pm yesterday.  Ahhhhhh my darling boy. “Am.  Thank you.  You?”  I say. “I’m fine.  Just got back home.  Speak soon xx” he says. “Just got home at last.  Had such a lovely time, thank you xxx” I text him at 7.57pm. “Me […]

Love Story*

“So, um, I just wanted to say,” I say, and then stop.  How to put this and, really is it a good idea to… “Go on,” Seb says. “I just wanted to say that, um, well, since we sort of got back together…we are back together aren’t we?”  I ask him. “Yes,” he says, touching […]

Dances With Wolves*

“Are you nearly here?” I ask Arjen when I bump into him on Facebook messenger.  He is visiting from Amsterdam on Friday. “Hahaha just a couple of days waiting,” he says.  “Which tube station should I take?” He names the correct station. “Yes that’s right,” I say. Unlike MediaChap, Arjen will be able to use the GPS […]

Mad Pilgrimage Of The Flesh

“It was a bit of an elderly audience, wasn’t it?” Hannah says as I wait with her for her bus in the rain.  We’ve just been to a couple of Jewish Book Week talks.  The first one was “Women in Dark Times” with Jacqueline Rose and Helena Kennedy and touched on Marilyn Monroe, Rosa Luxembourg […]

Busy Monsters

No word from MediaChap since Saturday.  Hope he is OK.  Wonder if he is cross with me about something.  Perhaps he has found my blog or…I don’t know. “Hope you are OK?  Cuddle,” I message him on WhatsApp. “Hey, what’s up?  You at work?” He fires back. “Just some stuff.  Possible lymphodoema in arm, allergic […]

A Kind Of Alaska*

Back at the gym, I gaze out of the window. Darkness falls and the gym ceiling lights are reflected in the glass: throwing yellow oblongs on the slate grey sky. On the television screen, a flock of cranes take off and glide past a mountain range. Must be Natural World. Here’s a polar bear. Maybe […]