This Is Not An Exit

“So, we’ll just have drinks,” Richard Dawkins the Atheist says to our waitress. Or, as we’re going to call him, Dick. “I thought we were eating?” I say. It’s 7.20pm and I’m hungry and…anyway…it’s not up to him to dictate whether or not I eat something. “I have dinner plans,” Dick says. “Oh,” I say, […]

Something Rotten In The State Of Denmark

1. DON’T suggest meeting at a swanky bar that is not only prohibitively expensive but also attached to a restaurant. 2. If he arrives, says “I’m starving, shall we get some food here” DON’T say “Yes” if you’ve never been to the restaurant before. 3. If the menu arrives and you can tell that it’s […]

The Stud

“So, at the guide dog centre, they’re showing us around,” MediaChap says. “They bring one of the studs out to meet us. And he’s a gorgeous big yellow Labrador but he’s in a bad mood: usually when he comes out of his room it’s to mate, and now he’s got to meet a whole lot […]

Dressed To Kill

Before leaving the house for tonight’s date with MediaChap, need to: 1. Have bath and even wash hair. 2. Clean contact lenses: am one of the last people in the world who still wears gas-permeable lenses. Can’t just open a packet and take out some new lenses: have to mess about with two different solutions […]