The Figaro Murders*

“Right,” I say to Seb as he’s throwing his rucksack over his shoulder and preparing to leave.  “Am going to make a note that we’re up to The Flood episode in Season Six of Mad Men so…” “What – that’s the last one we’ve watched?” Seb says.  “I’m sorry that I’m not clearing up – […]

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The Anniversary Man*

“I got you a little something, for our anniversary and Valentine’s Day,” I say to Seb when he calls yesterday. “When’s Valentine’s Day?” Seb says. “February 14th,” I say.  Surely he ought to know this, but then again maybe it’s a good sign that he doesn’t: it means he hasn’t been wining and dining a […]

A Siege Of Bitterns*

“Tanya, it’s Seb,” Mum calls through the bathroom door. “Where?” I shout. “On the phone,” Mum calls. “On my way,” I shout, hauling myself out of the bath, pulling my towel round me. “So, the thing about garden birds is that they’re an artificially sustained population,” Mum is saying into the phone when I make […]

Lost For Words*

Ridiculously tired after a full day of spin, shopping, walk, writing the other blog and bath.  Mind has gone blank.   This evening, still need to: 1.  Make gin cocktail for Ginuary:  www.ginuary.com, http://www.ginuary.org.  Have some freshly-squeezed apple juice so will use that. 2.  Reapply dressings which have come off scars.  Tried to photograph them […]

High Fidelity*

“Do you know what this is, my lovely?” Seb says, gesturing at the television. “Ummmm,” I say.  There’s Vanessa Redgrave and Emma Thompson clad in Edwardian gear: long skirts, velvet hats, high-necked blouses.  It’s a period film but am not sure what. “It’s Howards End,” Seb says, sounding cheerful.  “This is the film that made […]

The Painted Veil*

China 1925.   Toby Jones, Naomi Watts and Edward Norton are in a remote Chinese mountain town in the midst of a cholera epidemic.  They have opium, bamboo forests and possibly pandas, although haven’t seen one yet.  They are carried everywhere in litters on the shoulders of local people, which seems an excellent way to […]

Gone With The Wind*

“Is that the toast coming up, already?” Mum says, sitting on the arm of the chair, peering into my sick bucket. 11.15 am.  Gone With The Wind Has been playing for forty five minutes or so.  Atlanta is burning.  Am on all fours in front of the television, vomiting into the mop bucket. “Yes,” I […]

Design For Living*

1.  Seb is here. 2.  Walked the Keeshond yesterday with MadFatRunner.  Had fun.  Got a bit lost and were out for 3 hours. 3.  He is in attached photo. 4.  Lit the Chanukah candles and fed MadFatRunner latkes. 5. Pizza is coming. 6.  So is sleep eventually. 7.  Mood has gone up a bit so […]

Leaving Time*

E”Excuse me, do you happen to have a pig or a tapir?” I say to the manager of the shop.  I’m at the place where I purchased Mum’s beaded dinosaur last week, looking for a present for Seb’s Mum. “We’ve got a sheep,” she says, standing up, moving round the front of her desk, walking over […]

Towards Zero*

“If he wins, Andy and Kim will have to call the baby Davis,” I say to Seb. We’re in the nest in front of the television, and Andy is leading David Goffin 6 – 3, 7 – 5, 5 – 3.  Kim Murray is due to give birth in February. “Or David,” Seb says, as […]