Dirty Harry*

Wake up drenched with sweat but freezing.   “Is that sweat or wee in your bed,” Mum says, at 6.45am or so, when we get up in time for 8.15am Spin. “Sweat, this time,” I say, pulling on my padded-bottomed cycling shorts, fluoro gym top, Mum’s white snow-boots, trousers, scarf, gloves and goat .  “So […]

Endless Night*

 The door creaks open in the silent darkness.  A huge fluffy monster squeezes through and pads across the floor.  He bends down, shoves his face into the bowl and crunch crunch crunches his way through some food. I’m sort-of awake.  As the loud crunching happens, I wake up a bit more.  Drenched in sweat, I […]

Black Water Rising*

“I think that I just don’t want to know if the cancer is spreading and a blow-by-blow account of its wanderings,” I say to Dr Stein. “I quite understand that,” he says. “You know: I’m aware that it’s in my lungs now and…well, I don’t want to know its further movements,” I say. “You’re within […]

The Cat Who Wasn’t There*

On bike at gym.  It’s 3.25pm and I’m gazing out of the window at the blue sky.  Am sweating and uncomfortably warm, from the Zolodex.  It causes hot flushes apparently.     “It’s the Nocebo Effect,” MadFatRunner says when I call her to grumble about being hot in the night.     “The what?” I […]