Pain And Gain*

“You’re early,” my trainer says, smiling, at nine o’clock this morning. “Yes,” I say.  “The panther’s gone.  Been awake since six thirty nine and…” “I’m just going to put my bag in the office,” she says, tying her long hair up.  With her hair down, she could be any pretty girl.  Hair up, she’s transformed […]

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Relationships Can Be Murder*

“Seb, you’d better get up and get on with this,” Seb’s Mum’s voice assaults my ears at some early hour this morning.  “Yes mother,” Seb calls out into the corridor.  “OK, Tanya,” he says, turning to me.  “You stay here and rest, I’m going back to the flat to finish packing up.  Then I’ll come […]

Murder In The Bath*

Waking up with a start from my afternoon sleep, I look at my watch. Six o’clock in the evening.  The whole day has vanished and there’s so much to do. “You could make me a cup of coffee, if you wanted to be useful,” I say to the panther and he just stretches and climbs […]

The Day Of The Jackal*

“Your bedroom ceiling just fell down,” Mum says in a tone of great excitement.  “There was a crash and debris everywhere and lots of snails and…do you want to have a look?” “Yes, OK,” I say. Opening my bedroom door, I gasp in horror: there’s an enormous hole in the ceiling, just above my pillow. […]

Black Water Rising*

“I think that I just don’t want to know if the cancer is spreading and a blow-by-blow account of its wanderings,” I say to Dr Stein. “I quite understand that,” he says. “You know: I’m aware that it’s in my lungs now and…well, I don’t want to know its further movements,” I say. “You’re within […]

Mrs Beeton’s Book Of Household Management

Waking with a start, I switch the light on. 5.35pm. Suzie will be here for dinner at 7pm. “You haven’t got time to write your blog,” the panther says, stretching his front paws down the bed, pushing his bottom up to the ceiling. “I’ll write my blog first,” I tell him. “You need to tidy […]

Taken At The Flood

Rain falls out of a dull, grey, featureless sky. Autumn has arrived. For the first time in months, I’m wearing trousers and proper shoes rather than a sundress and fit-flops. My black-and-silver-star-hologram toes are covered up. My mood is dropping. In an attempt to foil it, I’ve raised the dose of my anti-depressant. Theoretically, increasing […]