The Shanghai Gesture*

One characteristic of manic depressives is a tendency to become obsessed with people, subjects or things.  Have learned about a variety of subjects because of my disorder: from Robbie Williams to Akitas and from Michael Ballack to the Icelandic horse.  These obsessions can become expensive, and tend to last for the duration of a hypomanic […]

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Gin and Daggers*

This year am participating in Ginuary: a different gin-based drink for each day in January.  Am not a detox fan and it’s the opposite of a detox.  It’s also a fun, creative project and a friend does it too.  Read about it here: Www.ginuary.com Started with a French 75 on New Year’s Eve: gin, champagne […]

Hickory Dickory Dock*

“I need some morphine,” I say, standing at the nurses’ station.  “I’m in so much pain and…” “Which room are you?” A nurse says.  She’s young, pretty: long black hair tied in a ponytail. “Fifteen,” I say.   She pulls my chart down from a shelf, looks along it. “You’re not due anything for the […]

A is for Accident*

Ouch, I think, waking up on the floor in a tangled mess of drain tubing. Am naked – dont know what has happened to my nightwear: secret support top and hospital knickers. Pressing my buzzer, hoping for help, scratching my arm. Whole body itches. “That’s a good sign”one of the nurses says. “Shows that your […]

In Cold Blood*

Needing a wee, pushing, awaiting the magic of the catheter where the feeling disappears as the liquid goes down the tube into the bag, I’m suddenly soaked with warm water.  It’s all over my legs and tummy, the sheets and duvet.  Oh no.   Ringing my buzzer, I’m shaking.  This is horrible.  The nurse comes […]

Mystery In White*

   Normal service will be resumed tomorrow.  Mood has gone quite high so am going to meditate and rest. Tomorrow am dog sitting all day for the fluffy Keeshond.  Can’t wait.  Have cancelled all my more-stimulating plans as am not up to them.  Need to rest. The attached photo is the elephant in Seb’s Mum’s […]

Waterloo Sunset*

“But you said you’d take me to the garden centre,” I say, sitting next to Mum on the sofa.  Need to get out of the house and do something.  Can’t just sit here. “We can go at two o’clock,” Mum says, looking at the crossword, pen poised above the paper. “That won’t give us long […]

Design For Living*

1.  Seb is here. 2.  Walked the Keeshond yesterday with MadFatRunner.  Had fun.  Got a bit lost and were out for 3 hours. 3.  He is in attached photo. 4.  Lit the Chanukah candles and fed MadFatRunner latkes. 5. Pizza is coming. 6.  So is sleep eventually. 7.  Mood has gone up a bit so […]

The Appearance Of Murder*

“Rather a lot of parcels have arrived for you,” Dad says. “Oh, good,” I say, looking at the pile of boxes and padded envelopes on the dining room table. “What are all these packages?” Mum says, looking at me with that you’ve-gone-high-again-haven’t-you look.  Or as a friend once put it: “Your mother looks terrified: as […]

Someone Else’s Skin*

“Your skin looks terrible,” the panther says.  He’s draped over my desk at the office. “It will heal, eventually,” I tell him. “Seb will be appalled when he sees you,” the panther says, fixing me with his amber stare.  “You must have put on another half a stone since you last saw him, you’ve got […]