The Beast Must Die*

4.15pm and already it’s almost dark outside.  Am writing this on my bike at the gym.  Didn’t make it here this morning, due to an unusually late night last night with my writing chums.  So am here now, despite epic levels of can’t-be-bothered.  Know that will be pleased with self, even if just write this […]

Murder On The Astral Plane*

Waking up with a start from my afternoon sleep, looking at my watch, I see that it’s 6.32pm.  Opening the curtains, I realise that it’s dark outside. “I’m hungry,” the panther says, kneading my tummy with his paws. “You know where the kitchen is,” I tell him.  “I’m not eating yet.  Have to write the […]

The Panther’s Claw*

I’m striding down the main road with the panther.  We’re going to be late for my course.  The bus has dropped us nowhere-near-where-we-need-to-be.  Am certain that last time it stopped outside the building.  Suddenly, the panther stops and stares into a shop window. Coming to a halt next to him, I see a model panther […]

Even Dogs In The Wild*

Sitting on my bike at the gym gazing out of the window.  Outside, the sky is grey and leaves blow in the wind.  The ground is covered with brown and yellow leaves. Missed my training session this morning but am here now: better late than never.  Have left the parentals for twenty four hours to […]

Monday And The Murdered Man*

“Hello, Tanya” Dad says as he answers the phone.  “Are you at the office?” “Yes,” I say.  “Well – I’ve popped out to get some lunch but, yes, I’ve made it to the office.  The thing is – I’ve run out of my antidepressants and…” “Well we’ve got loads here,” Dad says. “Would someone be […]

The Kidnapped Prime Minister*

“Scott Finebaum has just had his fifth daughter’s bat mitzvah.  Funny – I didn’t realise that he had five daughters,” one elderly lady says to another.  They’re in the front row and I’m in the one behind them.  We’re waiting for the class to start: “Modern British Prime Ministers: 1900 -2015.” “That’s private insurance for […]

A Study In Murder*

Am still suffering with my severe cold, but have done a good thing: have booked a course for this term.  It’s called “Modern British Prime Ministers: 1900 to 2015” and it starts tomorrow at 2pm.  So must attempt to be better by then. Am very pleased with self that have organised this.  Now will have […]

Death Bed*

“I’m just going to find some clean gym clothes – the purple set – and then when you leave I can go to the gym,” I say to Mum.  We’re at the flat.  Mum is helping me to change my bed.  In fact, Mum is changing my bed and I’m sitting on the floor, watching. […]

Turtle Baby*

Happy Bipolar Awareness Day everyone! Am aware of my mental disorder everyday, of course.  So are my parentals and my brother.  There’s never a day that isn’t dominated by my mood – even after sixteen years of illness, treatment, coping strategies and so on. When my mood is up – which is around 60% of […]

Echo Park*

Sitting in the park, in the sun, I smear sun cream all over my arms and chest.  The panther lies under the shade of a palm tree.  The alcoholics sit on their benches and don’t bother me.  And suddenly I feel a surge of happiness: despite my low mood, despite Seb being away, despite how […]