Have His Carcase

Back on the bike, at the gym, writing this. It’s dark outside. The panther has vanished thankfully and my thoughts run along these tracks: 1. Am I waiting for MediaChap to say “I don’t want you to meet other boys”. For example: have no plans this evening. Have a few boy vultures circling my carcase/ […]

The Jewel In The Crown

“So you’re not in Bristol with MediaChap then?” Suzie says when I call. “Obviously not,” I say. “What happened?” “He messaged at lunchtime to say lots of people dropped out and the pub had been cancelled and there weren’t going to be many people going and he reckoned it wasn’t worth me making the journey. […]

The Hard Problem

On way to see the new Stoppard play carrying my can’t-you-take-anything-out-of-that-is-there-a-body-in-there weekend bag. Or, more accurately, Mum’s bag. It’s covered in birds and filled with…don’t even know. Dresses, jeans, top, tights, sleepwear, phone charger, gym kit – in case there’s a gym at the hotel, trainers, wig, contact lenses. All the paraphernalia that one needs […]

4.50 From Paddington. Again…*

“How are you?” The Whatsapp message from MediaChap buzzes as I switch on my phone this morning. “Am not being annoying on purpose but please let me know when you hear about hotel so can book train ticket,” I reply. Both the parentals have been pointing out that train ticket prices double every five seconds. […]

How’s The Pain?

Current Physical Complaints: 1. Upper back pain – probably from sitting at office computer for two solid days: there’s a reason why I don’t go to work too often. 2. Headache – presumably from staring at screen for two days. See above. 3. Aching in thighs – from working legs in training, therefore good pain […]

Silence Of The Grave

5.55pm. Back at the gym, on the bike, staring out of the window at the black sky. Couldn’t sleep earlier so may as well read and write here, where I’m not alone. Had a training session this morning and so this extra gym visit is more to get myself out of the house and occupied […]

Cuts Through Bone

“The standard: incredible at the moment. Both players playing their best tennis,” the commentator says. Novak took the first set 7 – 6 in the tiebreak and now it’s 5 – 5 in the second set. Andy is serving. They’ve been playing for two hours and fourteen minutes. Just watching it is exhausting. Am under […]

Dressed To Kill

Before leaving the house for tonight’s date with MediaChap, need to: 1. Have bath and even wash hair. 2. Clean contact lenses: am one of the last people in the world who still wears gas-permeable lenses. Can’t just open a packet and take out some new lenses: have to mess about with two different solutions […]

In Bruges

Have a Date tonight: first one for a couple of weeks. Am nervous as he looks absolutely gorgeous in his photos. He’s half-Belgian/half-Danish: lots of shaggy brown hair, great cheekbones, wide mouth with naughty grin, hazel eyes. He’s not a Bright Young Thing either: this one is forty. A man of Experience. Works in telecoms […]