The Tale Of Samuel Whiskers

“You’re so beautiful, my fluffy monster,” I tell him as he lies in my arms, purring. It’s an impressive purr: the rumble of a little steam engine. Stroking his head, I look down at him and notice something very strange and unsettling. “Mum,” I say. “Someone has cut off all his whiskers on one side.” […]

Regeneration

This morning, waking up in my own bed in the parental home, everything seems much better. There is an orange fluffy cheek rubbing against mine – my kitten has come to wake me up. “Good morning furry monster,” I say, stroking his soft head. “Meow,” he says, arching his back, his tail a question mark […]

Autumn Almanac

“Is your surname Jacobs? Because you’re a real cracker!” the Tinder message flashes up. It’s from a new Bright Young Thing, aged 25. “Thank you. That made me smile, you cutie,” I reply. It does seem to have been busy overnight on my Tinder. There are many new messages this morning. Supposedly Sunday is Tinder […]

Crazy?

“Are you a little crazy by chance?” the What’s App message scrolls across my screen. It’s from a 31 year old Tinder chap who I’ve been chatting to. He works in TV, seems quite nice. “No, I’m completely mentally normal. Why?” I write back. “Just asking a question. You sure?” “Am lovely. Don’t be so […]