Hard Evidence

“I’m so terribly, terribly sorry,” Seb says, his gaze sheepish as he drags a huge bag through the front door of the flat. He may well have a body in there: it’s that huge. “You’re here now,” I say, wrapping my arms around him, inhaling his musty woodland scent of clothes-he-walks-the-dogs-in. There’s toothpaste in there, […]

The Black Minutes*

Waiting for Seb. He calls: “I’m terribly sorry,” he says. “My TomTom lost its signal and I seem to be near Croydon and…” “OK, so what time do you think you’ll be here,” I say. Looking at my watch, I see that it’s two o’clock, the time that he was meant to arrive. “Well the […]

Spring Awakening*

Suddenly, spring is in the air.  It’s mid-February and there may well be further cold snaps ahead, but on the walk to my bus stop this morning, the earth is awakening from its slumber.  There are purple crocuses out and a blackbird flies past with twigs in his beak: nest-building is underway.  And so, my […]

The Demanding Dead*

“I’m planning to invite you for dinner, do you eat Indian food?” the message comes through from MediaChap. “Yes!  My best food :)”  I reply.  “Would that be Wednesday dinner?” This is very exciting: MediaChap is going to cook for me.  Or maybe he is going to order a take-away, I think.  Hope not: don’t […]

A Valentine Story*

“Any plans for the evening of 6th March?” The Facebook message says. It’s from Arjen in Amsterdam. Haven’t seen him since 18th October, just before my implant removal operation. “Don’t think so?” I reply. “Still have to show you my Galapagos pics,” Arjen says. “Yay! Are you coming to see me?” I say, and add […]

Wild At Heart

“Helllllooo Tanya,” Seb’s voice drawls in my voicemail. “I’ve just dropped some assignments off at college and…” Hitting ‘3’ to save the message – I love to listen to his voice again and again – I call back. “Helloooo,” he says, answering the phone. He sounds happy to hear from me. “Hi,” I say. “Sorry: […]

Spitfires Over Malta

“So, um, well, this is our third date,” I say to MediaChap as we sit in the Iranian/ Turkish restaurant. We’ve taken a side-street off the Edgware Road and ended up in this place because there’s wine. “Yes, it is,” MediaChap says, taking my hand. The restaurant is dark. Next to us there is a […]

Something Rotten In The State Of Denmark

1. DON’T suggest meeting at a swanky bar that is not only prohibitively expensive but also attached to a restaurant. 2. If he arrives, says “I’m starving, shall we get some food here” DON’T say “Yes” if you’ve never been to the restaurant before. 3. If the menu arrives and you can tell that it’s […]

Clubbed To Death

No word from MediaChap since Saturday night and I can see that my WhatsApp message yesterday hasn’t been delivered. Maybe he has broken or even lost his phone. Or been kidnapped by aliens. It’s strange to think that in this day and age, where one can be connected to someone on so many different devices […]

Have His Carcase

Back on the bike, at the gym, writing this. It’s dark outside. The panther has vanished thankfully and my thoughts run along these tracks: 1. Am I waiting for MediaChap to say “I don’t want you to meet other boys”. For example: have no plans this evening. Have a few boy vultures circling my carcase/ […]