Time, Murderer, Please*

“So, I’m having trouble getting to sleep at the moment,” Seb says when he calls last night.  “I’ve just got so much work to do and I fall asleep but I wake up every hour and…” “Maybe it would be a good idea to get back to boxing and the gym?” I say.  “That will […]

Murder In Time*

“What time do you call this?” Mum says, marching into my bedroom. “I’m asleep,” I say, from under the covers.  “I’ve come here for a rest, remember.” “Well it’s six o’clock.  In the evening,” Mum says, opening my curtains.  “You’d better have a bath.  I know you didn’t have one yesterday because…” “I did,” I […]

A Gentleman’s Guide To Love And Murder*

“Do you think I have time to look for a charger for my pipe around here,” Seb says as we sit outside a pub, sipping our drinks. “If you’re quick,” I say, sighing inwardly.  For once we’ve made it out in time and I’m enjoying a gin and slimline tonic and a rest before the […]

Journey To Murder*

On the train to see my parentals and my fluffy.  The weather has turned cold and grey.  In my leopard print toenails, fit flops, leopard print coat, sunglasses black furry scarf, gloves and gym trousers, do not look mentally normal.  Can report that it’s not a good day for bare toes.  They have gone blue […]

Hot Dish Heaven*

It’s 5.15pm.  My phone buzzes. “It did take me a little longer than I’d hoped, but I’m on a train on my way to you.  Do you have gin? Xxx,” the message says.  It’s from Seb, obviously. “Ah well done!  Yes, of course I do.  What time does train get in and where?” I say. […]

Rushing to Paradise

Waking up with a start as the alarm bleeps, I realise that it’s five o’clock in the afternoon. Meeting MediaChap at seven for our second date. Not going to have time for a bath: it’s going to be a quick wipe with a baby wipe and then a few sprays of Coco Mademoiselle on top […]