Murder On The Orient Express*

“Guess what we have at school today?” Suzie’s message comes through at 10.33am.  “A real live reindeer :).  Do you want to come say hello?  You free at 1pm?  Can get you in for a cuddle.” Ahhhhh love reindeer.  Used to look after them at the zoo.  They’re the only animal with a completely furry […]

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The Necropolis Railway*

“Thank you for coming to see me my lovely,” Seb says, pulling me towards him.  Resting my face on his broad chest, closing my eyes, I breathe in his familiar scent. “Thank you for having me,” I say. All around us on this little station platform, student couples are saying goodbye to each other.  On […]

The Kidnapped Prime Minister*

“Scott Finebaum has just had his fifth daughter’s bat mitzvah.  Funny – I didn’t realise that he had five daughters,” one elderly lady says to another.  They’re in the front row and I’m in the one behind them.  We’re waiting for the class to start: “Modern British Prime Ministers: 1900 -2015.” “That’s private insurance for […]

Death Of A Garden Pest*

“You haven’t got a temperature,” Mum says, shaking her head and the thermometer.  Dad has just rescued me from the flat. “Am sorry,” I say, pulling the furry blanket around myself.  “Am still ill.  Still have a sore throat and an earache and my legs are wobbly and…” “You haven’t got a temperature though,” Mum […]

The Dead Songbird*

“Oh, Seb, hello,” my Dad says, answering the house phone.  “Yes, here she is.  Tanya – it’s Seb,” Dad says, passing the phone to me. “Hi darling,” I say.  “How is Friday?”  “Well we did the bird-ringing today,” Seb says. “Wow, how was it?” I say. “It was good: we caught the little birds in […]

Railway To The Grave*

The train chugs along its track.  It shakes, rumbles and squeaks.  The sounds and the rolling motion lull me into a sense of calm.  All I have to do now is sit here until it is time to alight. There’s Buddleia all along the tracks: growing out of walls and over fences.  Apparently this invader […]

Murder On The Brighton Express*

So, you’re in a long distance relationship, and you’re excited to see your love.  Here’s how to utilise the day of the date: 1.  Have a lie-in, if possible.  Sleep helps effect that dewy, youthful complexion. 2.  Drink two pints of water to achieve a poo before breakfast.  This tip from the great Cameron Diaz, […]

Killing Hope*

Royal baby is on the way.  As I write this, Kate is in labour.  Am on my bike at the gym, watching the Royal experts and so on.  The labour is “progressing normally”.   The world’s press are gathered outside the Lindo Wing of St Mary’s Hospital, Paddington.  Can’t hear what anyone is saying as […]

A Cold Day For Murder*

My poor battered digestive system has sensed we’re going on A Day Trip and is protesting.   “Come on, let’s get going,” my brother says.  Our train leaves in an hour, it’s a five minute taxi ride to the station so we need to leave Right Now so we can be forty five minutes early. […]

The Hard Problem

On way to see the new Stoppard play carrying my can’t-you-take-anything-out-of-that-is-there-a-body-in-there weekend bag. Or, more accurately, Mum’s bag. It’s covered in birds and filled with…don’t even know. Dresses, jeans, top, tights, sleepwear, phone charger, gym kit – in case there’s a gym at the hotel, trainers, wig, contact lenses. All the paraphernalia that one needs […]