The Love Detective*

Rarely have I woken up feeling less like going to the gym.  And yet, it’s unusual to wake up feeling and looking this fat.  So, here I am, pedalling away on my bike.

Pain Inventory:

1.  Tummy ache – too much food I would imagine.

2. Pains in arms – from weights, so good.

3.  Thigh pains – from kettlebells.  Also good.

4.  Mild knee discomfort – from cycling.  Less good.  Need to avoid knee problems.  But at the moment, not too severe.

5.  Chest pains – from lifting a 20kg bar.  So, good. 

6.  Nasal discomfort – due to air conditioning.  This ought to disappear once am home.  Then again, may well catch a cold or something on the plane home.

That’s quite a list.  But nothing too severe to stop me exercising, which is the main thing.

Last night was thinking about the trajectory of my relationship with Seb over the years.  Maybe have something to tell the blog readers, along the lines of what-I’ve-learned, was thinking.  So, here goes:

1.  Bearing in mind that our situation is an unusual one: not focused on Plans-For-The-Future, or Children or Financial Considerations.  We’re lucky in that at the moment, we’re choosing to be with each other.  We don’t really have to take the practicalities of the world into account. What I will say though is: buy your own property as soon as you can, so you’re not making a choice to be with someone based on whether you can live in their house for free.  Have friends trapped in unhappy relationships who can’t afford to leave.  That is a bad place in which to find yourself.

2.  Be patient: Many people over the years have told me to move on, meet someone else.  Tried those things.  However, waiting for Seb has brought him to me, at least for the moment.  

3.  Don’t discount Internet dating.  Or evening classes, taking up new sports, art classes, a book club, or starting any new interest where there will be exciting people to meet.  

4.  Give the other person time.  Although haven’t grown up much in the last ten years, Seb has.  He’s a couple of years younger than me anyway, and he’s done a lot of finding-himself and so on.  He’s needed to get a lot of things out of his system.  So, if you find someone you like, they may need time to come round to the idea of having a relationship with you.  If your biological clock is ticking very loudly and you don’t feel that you have time, then move on.  Am lucky that, at the age of 35, feel that can be in this relationship with no prospect of human larvae.  If you want them, then go for someone who shares that desire.  Or acquire a pet.  They are far superior to either children or human partners and much better for cuddles.

5.  Enjoy the moment with, or without, a partner.  You don’t know what’s round the corner.  It’s probably something completely unexpected.  So, if you can, find a relationship that makes you happy now.  There’s no point in planning too much for a future that may be nothing like the future you envisioned.

6.  Don’t settle.  It always turns out badly.  It’s better to have autonomy and to be alone than to be with the wrong person.

Photo attached of the fluffy monster looking outside.  Searching for something. probably not love, but no-one knows…

Happy Saturday morning everyone!

*2014.  By Alexandra Potter.  Chick lit.

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